Monday morning, I wake up to the sound of our neighbor’s motorcycle engine roaring.
It is seven in the morning and I still long to get some more sleep after staying up late to work on my thesis. It has been a long pressuring week of reading, researching, analyzing, taking down notes and creating a comprehensive written output for my Communication Research 2 class.
I try to muffle the sound of the annoying roaring motorcycle engine with a pillow stuffed on my head. But to my dismay, it did not work. The noise just irritated me further. “OH SHUT UP! People are still trying to sleep!” I exclaimed.
Perhaps, they did not hear me…
Perhaps, they were heating the engine for an important reason and that they could not be trifled with a neighbor’s complaint…
Perhaps, they just did not care…
I grunted and got out of bed. I turned on the television and saw yet again the devastating flooding in Brisbane, Australia – homes, schools, churches, business areas – everywhere was flooded. You could see people rowing small boats to salvage what they can from their ruined properties buried in the overwhelming depths of the water. Reports of thievery from grocery stores have been announced. Disgruntled families were appealing for assistance. The whole situation made me wonder, “How will these families rebuild their lives? What will happen to those who had nothing to begin with?”
The catastrophic images had in some way drove me to push the next button to change the channel. I do not like waking up to bad news.
Although it might not seem as tragic as the scene in Brisbane, the continuous discussion of corruption and injustice in the Philippine political and justice system without any resolution is a heartache that the entire Filipino populace bears. It is an exhausted topic but this was, however, the content of all the local news channels. It is a topic discussed every day, every hour…. The word “corrupt” has been so common in the past two decades, that even the uneducated understands its meaning. It is perhaps one of the most commonly used English words by Filipinos. And the result of such knowledge and commonality to the word is apathy. People have grown tired of the endless revelation of corruption, its endless discussion and the lack of action to resolve the problem; and I am not adverse to this exhaustion.
Changing the channel again, I find stories of serial arson, wars, child abuse, child pornography, battered women, drugs and mass murder. I turn off the television to spare myself from the morbidity of the world and try to find some entertainment through the internet.
I talk to my friend Hugo who is a young digital artist living in Portugal and he sends me a link to a news about the United Nation’s decision, based on a vote, to eliminate sexual orientation from anti-execution measures. Apparently, the majority of the member countries voted that it is perfectly okay to isolate and execute, if they see fit, the lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transsexuals (LGBT). Another structural violence – bigotry has succeeded in dominating the world.
I sigh at the saddening truth of world violence. Then I turn off the laptop and proceeded to my daily habit of visiting my nephew’s room to give him a good-morning kiss. For a long time now, it has been the only solace in my life- the only quiet moment filled with serenity and hope that today might better because his innocent smile says it so.
My father who was watching a documentary about Trinidad and Tobago at that same time, suddenly called out for me just to burst out his racist comments about my ex-boyfriend who was an African-American, ‘they look like gorillas” “OH my God! He’s thick lips would have sucked your lips off if you had kissed”. All I could do was slam my hands to my face and drag it down to the floor. But, I admit in all honesty that he was not at all good-looking. In fact he was downright ugly. It never bothered me though, for I loved him even with his shortcomings. But my father always had a way with stating his opinions about such matters and rubbing it to their faces. To him, ugly is ugly – nothing more, but everything less. And I’ve often wondered, will his racism and disdain for ugliness be another source of conflict between us when he finds out that I am yet again and more than ever in love with another black man. What if we ended up together and have an ugly baby, will he turn his head away from us?
All the simple and minute ideals, habits and biases we may have; and the actions controlled or uncontrolled, foreseen and unforeseen that has inflicted damage on a wide variety of people are but a conglomeration of both physical and structural violence in this world existing from the personal, family, group and to the entirety of our society.
With all the wondering I have already done, perhaps the biggest wonder of all is if peace is truly possible.
Peacemakers are said to possess seven attributes: compassion, conscientization, constructiveness, conciliation, communion, commitment and contemplation. These qualities however, in my opinion, are rare and can hardly be found altogether in an individual. And being human nature as it is – selfish and conceited – concerned only of his own benefits and his own pain, how can peace be attained?
If I ask myself if I am capable of being a peacemaker in the idealistic sense of the word, my answer would be a resounding no.
If I were asked if I believe that true peace – both negative and positive peace can be obtained, I would answer with my brows raised and say “the achievement of true peace would stem from the elimination of structural violence which is the cause of physical violence. How do we eliminate corruption, bigotry and poverty among others when their roots are strongly embedded in one’s culture and history? Only the answer and the implementation of that answer to that question can bring forth the desired peace that we all aspire for.”
And so for now, I’ll continue waking up in the morning living day by day watching my world and all the rest move about in violence and chaos in hope of an improbable peace.
